The Kingdom Within I am my own worst enemy. And you are probably in the same barrel, waiting for the chooser to choose your sweet aroma for a treat at His table. But while we wait, we diminish, if not obliterate altogether, that sweet aroma with self inflicted curses and self-condemnation. We do this with the very words of our mouth, words that profess doubt that God would really forgive our terrible deeds. We do it with our complaints, our self-criticisms, and our pity parties. As if that were not enough to curse us for life, we attempt to garnish it with the false humility of self-condemnation, "But, I am so unworthy," or "I don't think God can forgive me for what I did," and other such tripe. The problem is not what God can do - will do - or has already done. The problem lies in whether or not we are willing to believe Him and forgive ourselves. People are taught from the cradle up that good is good and bad is bad, that there are benefits to being good and consequences for being bad. And, we are continually exposed to the gray areas, snares that are socially acceptable and generally considered to be the norm in today’s world. So we develop habits - sometimes troublesome habits, sometimes simply annoying habits, and other snares we don't see as habits - as part of our personality. Often we do not realize that our developed habits and character traits are what make up our personality, personalities that are fully developed by the age of three, but flourishing by the time the first day of our first-grade class arrives. By this time our ability or inability to interact with others on a well-balanced plateau has already been established. We are outgoing, or we are shy. We are either comfortable with who we are or we anticipate rejection. We are gentle and caring or we are spoiled brats. We are just one fish in the pond or we are THE fish in the pond. What we have to say is an opinion, or what we say is the law. We have learned from our parents and siblings, and sometimes from the neighborhood bully and play pals, but what we have learned is what we have to offer this world and it is nestled deep in our innermost being. Hurts, grievances, rejections, rebellions, sneaky things, and selfish moments, all hidden away in the deep recesses of our memories, not exactly a daily remembrance but not a forgotten matter either. These memories are saved in our subconscious files for a day and an hour of the final confrontation. They weren't just traits we can blame on the foolish days of our adolescence, or a rebellious youth, they are imbedded, they are still with us, and unless they are full-front faced, recognized and purged, they will taunt and grieve us all the way to the grave and beyond. Option one: the guilt that comes with such memories can be abhorred and reversed by human effort but the seeds will remain imbedded. Option two: they can be forgiven and forgotten, allowing the seeds to fade and die. Option three: they can be decorated and made into an idol - "But I was an outcast," or, "My childhood was so painful," or "You don't know what I did." No, I don't. And I don't need to know. I want to know what you are going to do with the rest of your life - starting here and starting now. So let's you and I have a heart-to-heart discussion. I will go first... You say you are born again and Spirit-filled. Me too! But, sometimes we tend to forget that. Sometimes we come down on ourselves really hard - we forget who we are and whose we are. We are trapped in this temporary earthly tent with its human emotions and feelings and no matter how hard we try, we fall back into our fickle flesh and become children all over again. All too often the memories of our flesh attack the new understandings of our spirit and we are caught in the middle of a flesh and spirit conflict. This is where we really get hurt, where the damage we do to ourselves over and over again has to be healed over and over again. When we were children, a kiss on a scraped knee and a band-aid were sufficient. As we grew older, the bandage grew bigger, the wound had to be cleaned more often, the wound took longer to heal, and some wounds never healed. We may be maturing spiritually, but we continue to carry the scars, the open and often festering wounds, heartaches and bellyaches, headaches and backaches that have become the idols of our very-healthy pity-parties. "If we are born again and Spirit filled, if we have accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and if He has come to live within us, to seal us for eternity, to teach, comfort, lead and protect us, then we are not that little child anymore. Those days and those things are passed away and gone forever. We cannot go back and change one moment of our past. We're not the person of any age we used to be. We are a new child, a brand-new person, born again, with a clean slate, a new beginning, "Behold, all things are passed away and all things become new." Jesus tells us He washed all that yucky past away and then God did something we seem to have trouble doing. He forgot about it - He forgets to remember it. It is erased from His memory and from the heavenly archives. It is no longer recorded in your account. It has been forgiven – forgotten - with every trace erased. It doesn’t exist anymore. It is as if it never happened. That is - until we bring it up to Him again and again with our false humility and self-pity, reminding him of how awful we were. Why is it we have so much trouble believing that He has really washed it away and forgotten about it? Why do we feel we have to repent over and over and over for the same sin? This, my friends, is an insult to the Holy Father and to the Lord Jesus Christ. Either we believe Him or we don't. Either we let go of that thing that so easily besets us or we will take it into eternity with us and suffer the penalty for it. Frightening thought? Yep! But that’s what forgiveness is all about – forgiving ALL who trespass against us – then forgetting the incident, including those self trespasses against self. The pain may linger for awhile, but forgiving and determining to forget will hasten the healing. Like any open wound, it often takes time and care to prevent infection, gangrene, or permanent damage, and treatment begins with a heart for forgiving. A prayer of intercession for the offender is most helpful – asking the Lord to forgive them also, and not hold this charge to their account. “Erase it, Lord, and do not let this offense against me be charged against them, for such a charge would be added to my account as well. Forgive them, Lord, for their offense, and forgive me, for my own ugly thoughts, my words of anger, and my pride that has nursed this thing out of proportion. Forgive both of us, Lord, and help me to forget it, and love them with your love – your unconditional love – the love that prompted my Lord to pray, ‘Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” When we realize they have sinned before God in offending us, and that their sin cannot be forgiven by God until it is first forgiven by us, and that such a sin will hold them accountable until we do, we will pray. Our negligence or refusal to forgive others also binds us and charges us with disobedience. If we do not forgive others who trespass against us, neither will the Father forgive us our trespasses. That means, if we cannot forgive the trespasses we have inflicted on ourselves, neither will the Father forgive them. And if the Father cannot forgive the sins we refuse to forgive, are we truly saved??? Refusing to forgive others, while asking the Lord to forgive us for our trespasses, is double talk, double-mindedness, unreasonable, blatant perversion and denial of the Word of the Living God. Refusing to forgive ourselves, while asking the Lord to forgive us, is contrary to His Word. If we can’t accept His forgiveness – why do we keep asking for it? If we believe our trespasses are greater than His Grace, we are of most creatures most miserable. In such mire of pride as this, we have no hope at all… If we cannot and do not forgive ourselves, as God has forgiven us, how can we ever hope to truly forgive others? Will we not instead raise the level of their trespasses above our own, justifying our own misdemeanors in the light of their more serious trespasses? Such a thing is a trap of the enemy, a haughty, self-glorying, holier-than-thou attitude that God hates and will not tolerate. We are either born of the Spirit of Jesus Christ or we are still the children of pride. That's what self-pity is - pride - self-centeredness - selfishness - a critical spirit that criticizes self as well as others, and slander of self as well as others. We don’t have the privilege of criticizing or slandering any of God’s children, including ourselves, if we truly belong to Him. Therefore, we can indeed be our own worst enemy... Let's get down to the nitty-gritty. First of all, take a good long look (if you want to) of that temporary body you live in - and make it the last good look you will ever take. Purpose to tell yourself, "This is it - my last goodbye to me." From this day on, I will see myself with new eyes, a new heart and a new mind. I am not going to see me in this raggedy old tent anymore. I don’t want to look at that old me that was full of flaws and wrinkles because that old me is dead. If it looks dead, if it smells dead, then it must be dead. God says it is so and I believe Him. From now on - I am going to look for Jesus in me. He has a sweet aroma, a perfect and beautiful body... Some people think we are crazy. They think we talk foolishness. They do not understand the death of the old nature and they love to bring our sins to our remembrance every chance they get. So, we pray in earnest for their understanding to be opened with a revelation of the Cross of Jesus Christ. Neither does the world understand that the death of the body releases the eternal soul, that part of us that lives forever, the real you and me that lies hidden beneath our corruptible flesh, some destined for heaven, some destined for hell. Far too many, daily, put off till tomorrow what they might have settled yesterday. Taken suddenly, without warning, they now face eternity separated from the Savior they spurned. If only the world understood, there would be fewer wars, fewer murders, less hate. The world only sees our flesh and calls us foolish dreamers. God sees our heart, our spirit man and calls us to believe. The world does not realize that God has chosen the foolish things (like preaching and believing) to confound the wisdom of this world. These are two sets of vision, each seeing differently, and speaking different foolishness to us. Let us purpose to covet the foolishness God has chosen… Some people see death as a spooky thing - a terrible dreadful and final end. What a lie! What a miscarriage of the Father’s own words, "Precious unto the Lord is the death of His saints." God doesn't see His saints the way the saints see themselves and each other. He doesn’t see the flaws, wrinkles, spots and stains. God sees His saints through the cleansing blood of Jesus. He sees us as His beloved children, blameless, perfectly restored and holy, because we have been made - I said "made" - as in recreated - into a new creature, having been “made” the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus. We didn't do it - He did it - He "made" us in His image when He created us, then He "perfected" us in the image of His holiness when He saved us, accepted us into the Beloved, and welcomed us into the kingdom of His dear Son. Did you hear that - "THE KINGDOM OF HIS DEAR SON…" His heavenly Son, His earthly Son, Jesus the Christ, is so dear and so precious to Him He has decreed that in a day soon to come, "the kingdom of this world has become the Kingdom of His Christ, and He shall reign forever and ever..." Jesus definitely died on the Cross and was definitely resurrected. During the time Jesus lay in the tomb, the Disciples wept, grieved, and hid out. They were terrified that they would meet the same fate if they were caught. Yet, these same Disciples had walked with Jesus for three and a half years. They had received better teaching and preparedness than any yeshiva or seminary could offer. Three of them had seen Moses and Elijah on the mountain. They had seen thousands healed, fed, and the dead brought back to life. They knew death for the righteous was nothing to fear. Yet, they didn't want to die - they hadn't wanted Jesus to die - but He did. They saw the death of the Lord the way the world sees death - final – ka-poot - you're gone and that's that. Your flesh will rot in the grave in no time and your bones - well - that will take awhile but there is no life left in them. Jesus put a halt to this lie when he arose from His tomb and showed them just how wrong they were. Jesus did not arise as a spook - a phantom - a ghost - or any other vapor of spirit. He arose with a physical body that could be touched, felt, seen and clothed. He could see, hear, eat, and speak, walk, run, pray and remember all He had known and experienced. He could even build a fire, and cook breakfast... He was as physical as we are, except that he could walk through walls and doors, and could appear and disappear at will. He had a body of flesh and bones, He didn't need blood. Blood sustains life on the earth, God sustains life in heaven and hell. The pure and Spirit-filled blood that had sustained His life on the earth had been shed upon the cursed earth, sprinkled on the Mercy Seat of heaven, and sacredly held to be applied to the souls that would believe Him and receive Him as Lord of heaven and earth. He arose a physical being in a physical world. He had overcome the world, first by overcoming the temptations of the world and the devil, then by overcoming the physical boundaries of the world. He arose justified (though condemned and crucified as a criminal), glorified (in His new living body), as the Eternity of all our tomorrows (never to know physical death again). And so will we be, when the tents that house our spirits and enable us to negotiate the physical world, are shed and we put on our new glorified and eternal bodies that Jesus has shown to us through His own resurrection. We will be like Him in every way, except He will always be the boss, the Redeemer of all ages, the King of all kings, and the Lord of all lords in heaven and in the earth. We will be His, and be just like Him, and He will be ours to love and to cherish, to adore and obey, to serve and to praise. You have read it written in the sacred text, "The Kingdom of God is within you, the hope of Glory." Well, that may be just words to you - a mystery you haven't yet unraveled enough to quell all those doubts you have, so let's lay this revelation on the table and talk about it... The Kingdom of God is not heaven. Nor is it the earth. When we pray, “Thy Kingdom come…” we are praying for the salvation of the lost, the holiness and joy of God to fill the earth as it fills heaven. Simply put, the Kingdom of God IS God. Therefore if the Kingdom of God is within you, then God Himself is within you. And as the Holy Spirit fills us in this world, so the Kingdom of God fills the world through us. Remember, God is a Spirit and those that worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in truth. When you fail to believe He has forgiven all and forgotten all, you are not worshipping Him in truth. You are calling Him a deceiver, a liar, an impotent God limited by the ideologies of men. "Forgive and forget" - that is God's motto. It should be ours... I repeat, the Kingdom of God IS God. He is the all consuming omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent power that IS the Kingdom. Therefore, if He dwells in the regenerated spirit of the believer, then all that the Father is lives within you and me. This means His nature, His character, and all that unconditional love that flows from His holiness lives within you and me. His authority, His power, His anointing, His faith and His life dwells within you and me. When Jesus was nailed to the Cross, all our sins were laid upon Him and He became you and me - one with us, representing us to the Father. When we accepted Him as Savior and Lord, we became Him, one with Him, representing Him to the world. We became one with Christ who was, is and always will be one with the Father and one with the Spirit, and they became one in us (John 15). The three fold cord that they are - Father, Son and Holy Spirit, can never be broken, thus the Kingdom of God, the Kingdom of His dear Son, and the Spirit of all creation, dwells in us. (Are you getting this?) There is a catch - once we have received Him, and His Kingdom, we must learn to obey Him. We begin by believing who we are and whose we are in Him... When Jesus read from Isaiah, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me..." He was saying, "The life, the light, the power, the all-consuming Kingdom of the true and living God is within me and upon me..." Before we are saved, while the Holy Spirit is wooing us to Christ, He hovers "over" and around us. When we are saved, He enters our spirit to abide "in" us. When we learn to do His will, in obedience to His instructions, when a specific anointing is needed and given, He comes "upon" us. We are the physical body of Jesus Christ on this earth, out of which His light and life is supposed to shine into all the world, that men may see it and that men may desire and seek Him. Unfortunately too many have shown themselves instead, seeking to please men rather than God, until that light and that life that is Christ within them is so diminished it is little more than a dying spark. I would venture to guess they carry the burden of guilt in their bosom, unwilling to forgive themselves and the offenses rendered by others, else the fire would never have succumbed to embers and the embers to flickering sparks. And as the burden becomes heavier and more difficult to carry, even the spark will be quenched beneath the pressure of the load. If this is happening or has happened to you, my friends, if you are carrying a burden you don’t have to carry, then you are not carrying the Cross of Christ, you are loaded down with pride and self glory. If you think you are too good or too important to be offended, take a good long look at Jesus standing before Caiaphas, Herod and Pilate, then look at the Christ on the Cross and the offenses He suffered. Are you more important than He was? Are you better than He was? Are you a greater leader and teacher than He was? If they persecuted, offended, scorned, mocked and hated Him, why should we scream foul when we suffer the shame He suffered? Only the proud offend. Only the insecure in themselves offend. Only the truly ignorant of God’s Grace deliberately and willfully offends others. When they do, they need our prayers, not our vengeance or nursed grudges. Truly, they do not know what they do, neither did we in our adolescence and our youth, nor do we when we err in lack of knowledge or are provoked by the ungodly. When we can see them in the Spirit, in the flames of hell, we will rise up in terror to plead for them, “Oh Lord, No, No, No – save them Lord, save them, forgive them Lord, forgive them, in Jesus Name, forgive them, forgive me – forgive both of us…” We must lean into the Kingdom that is within us, lean on it like a precious elderly saint leans on his cane, putting all our weight into the Spirit who is able to carry the weight of our burdens to the expanse of the sea and cast it from us now and forever. We must lean into the power of that precious Name of Jesus, and the power of His shed blood that covers the past like a bolted shutter covers a window, forbidding the darkness of the night that threatens the light that is within. The darkness from without cannot prevent the light from within from shining onto the path at the open door that leads into the world of sinners. We follow the light, taking our lamps with us, and the darkness cannot harm us as long as we are in the light. We walk through the valley of the SHADOW of death, but the claws of death cannot touch our immortal souls while we are in the light. They may attack our flesh, we will suffer their insults, cast from the shadows of their world, but we will slough it off like chaff in the wind for it is only the fiery dart of an enemy who is already defeated. It cannot penetrate our joy if we do not let it. Nor will we allow, ever again, the past mistakes and offenses we have been so unwilling to forgive, We will not allow the wounds of the past to steal another moment or another day of our completeness in God through Christ who, with the Holy Spirit, are the fullness of the Kingdom of heaven within us. We are over-comers with Our Lord, and today we will overcome. We will forgive ourselves as we forgive others – and we will forget… Joan Krempel
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